It started with a goal…

Starting any new project can be- intimidating.  There is no direction to follow, no habits to fall back into, and most importantly- no expectations with which you can place blame.

In honesty- it is, what it is- a blank slate.  Something that can be whatever you want it to be.

Don’t worry- I won’t be tripping the light fantastic or using “azure” instead of blue.  While I may wax poetic from time to time- I honestly just want this to be real.

To explain the title of this first post- my boss, Brandon, had pulled me in for my monthly coaching and had asked me what my goals would be for this year.  I honestly wasn’t prepared when he first told me he wanted a list.  I hadn’t been asked to do anything like that in a job before.  So I spent a little time and came up with what I thought was a reasonable list of goals.

  1. Code an entire site in flash
  2. Learn enough Javascript to consider myself intermediate (or at least advanced-basic)
  3. lose the last 35lbs
  4. develop a reputation at work, and work towards becoming a depended upon “marquee” player.
  5. Use my creativity

The first four were easy- work on my flash, just do some more tutorials, and apply that towards a site- there are a million tutorials to pull from out there.  Same with the JS- so many sources- the hardest part is figuring out where to start.  The weightloss is easy enough- I have already lost a ton of weight- it’s just getting motivated to hit the home stretch- put in the activity and reign in the nutrition.

As for the reputation- I have a big personality.  And a very strong one- it can be very polarizing.  People tend to love me or hate me.  I just had to focus on learning to use my personality properly and focus on being the  type of employee I wanted to be seen as.
But, the creativity … that’s the tricky part.  I have always been a creative person- since I was a kid in fact.  I loved doing my horrible paintins and drawings.  And anyone who has spent more than five minutes around me knows, I am more likely to burst into song than anyone you know.  I have acted since I was 13, and became a prowrestler when i was 18.  I have always loved my creative side, and tried to find outlets for it.

Lately though- it is like I have run into a brick wall.  Everytime I pull out a pen and paper, open word, try to sketch…anything.  I seize up.  I simply stare at my blank canvas like a deer staring into the headlights.  Not useful for any activity- much less one where your mind needs to be active.

So, Brandon and I talk and we decide I needed to spend an hour a day doing something creative.  Writing, drawing, practicing guitar- anything.  I have tried to stick to this and have worked on the guitar (not as much as I should) and attempted to work on doing other things.  But then it struck me- I was trying to force it out.  I was trying to muscle my brain around.  And my brain (much like me, generally) is very stubborn.  When pushed, it doesn’t want to move.

I needed to exercise my brain.  I had learned how much exercising my body had helped and made my body behave more like I wanted it to.  So why not the brain.  And that leaves me here- tonight.  Brandon suggested that I start a blog- somewhere that I can come and just devote time to writing.  Even if it’s just putting out complete non-sense, I exercise my mind.

Finally I did it.

So, this wasn’t the most entertaining blog ever.  I know.  But i wanted to explain why the sudden creation of a new blog.

Because, honestly, every story needs a beginning.

This article has 1 Comment

  1. Very interesting reading, Doug (lol in a good way). I see that it was written back in May of last year. Were you ever able to get past that writer’s/drawing block? Was this before your paintings? I’ve been finding myself getting that deer in the headlights look myself for a while when I try to write.

    Anyway, I know it’s late, but those were great goals. (PS – I’m really stubborn, too 🙂 )

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