I am Doug, and this is my blog. And for those of you who did a search for Doug Marshall and wound up here … I am not this Doug Marshall…
More along the lines of this Doug Marshall
That's right...the best image I could find of me in the first 10 pages of results. Screw you other Doug Marshall.
That means I will probably say the name Doug Marshall roughly forty-eight times in the course of this post, just to up my ranking. Such are the goals of internet geeks, like myself.
If you were to do a search for Doug Marshall on google you would, interestingly enough find out that I fought Phil Collins last year. There was a time I would have been star struck, but after the Tarzan soundtrack? Fuck you Phil Collins. You have no soul, and…and…you’re bald.
As far as mortal enemies go, I was shocked to find that mine was the former lead singer of Genesis. I mean sure- he’s evil. We knew that.
But to know that 31 years had passed and all this time the man who plotted my very demise was right there all along. In my car, in my computer and, worst of all, in my heart.
All that time, I had believed that Phil Collins was merely singer. A singer, with the voice of an angel- but a singer none-the-less. I assumed that Phil Collins was not even aware of my existense. Just another Phan (as we call ourselves). But then, today, during a simple search for myself on a new search engine- I find out the devastating news. I had fought Phil Collins, and what’s more, I had won. Somehow I had bested Phil “The Mariachi of Pain” Collins.
This could only mean one thing. Phil Collins would be coming for me. He would want his revenge. We have all heard “In The Air Tonight” and quite frankly, the man is stone cold. Gangsta, as a point of fact. Just take these lyrics as proof positive;
Well, if you told me you were drowning
I would not lend a hand
This is not a man to be trifled with. He could have been coming for me at any time, and to be honest. I was a little scared. He could have sent Genesis after me and I wouldn’t have seen it coming.
Because, you see…no one knows what they look like.
More to come, as I tell the tale of my mortal enemy…